NEVER again...

So I was freaking out before about not having anything done, nothing cleaned out or moved, nothing at all. Well....most of that still isn't done, I'm kinda waiting for the nesting thing to kick in and our Tax returns to come.

But that's not what I'm freaking out about.

This is the last FULL month that I'm going to be pregnant....EVER. And it is going to FLY by. There are SO many short term things to look forward to this month. Jackson has lots of  "fun" days at school. Like today is Teddy Bear day. Next week he will be captain, and I will have to make treats and stay in class for that. Then he will have a swim day and also GRADUATION at the end of this month. I see the diabetic counselor every Thursday, and will start my Non Stress Tests (NST) this month and will go weekly till the the babies are born. Two GREAT people will be throwing me baby showers. And Ben and I wanted to take the boys on  a short excursion to Las Vegas. And all that is just extra thrown into the mix of everyday life.

All the busy-ness is FANTASTIC and I'm so excited about every minute of it but I am NEVER going to get this precious time back. I will never be pregnant again. I will never feel a baby kick my bladder and make me want to pee my pants. I will never get to check in with a doctor on the growth and development of a baby within me. You see, when I'm "with child" I feel the very closest to my Heavenly Father because I pray constantly. The large belly is a huge reminder that I am NOT the one in charge or control. I don't get to decide on life's trials, and it is a constant reminder that I need to put my full faith and trust in HIM that everything is going to be ok and work out the way that it is supposed too.

I have been so busy wishing this pregnancy time away and now the finish line is end site and i don't want to cross it. I'm so excited to have these new special spirits and SO scared at the same time. What did I do that made me worthy to have them? to have all four of my babies? I don't know, and I will probably never know until the time comes that I get to cross the veil again. I just hope and pray that I will be able to ALWAYS stay so close.